


Please Give Me a Remedy

by misslmf



Category: The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, But mostly angst, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Kinda, M/M, Songfic, Spoilers, Spoilers for Shadowhunters, The Red Scrolls of Magic - Freeform, based on that one party scene, no happy ending, sometimes little bits of happy, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-25 17:22:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22259929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misslmf/pseuds/misslmf
Summary: At a loud, crowded party in Venice, one Raphael Santiago stands alone, texting endlessly on his phone to one of his dear friends.But when Alec comes over and looks at the phone, he sees that there isn’t a single reply.Because Raphael knows his friend will never reply again. So why can’t he stop texting?————this is just a little fix of the party scene in the Red Scrolls of Magic from Raphael’s perspective, because it’s one of my favourite things about his character and I felt the need to write immediately(I am very bad at summaries, I swear this is good)
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood (minor), Ragnor Fell/Raphael Santiago
Comments: 6
Kudos: 43





	Please Give Me a Remedy

**Author's Note:**

> the lyrics at the beginning of this fic and the title are both taken from the song Jamais Vu by BTS

_a remedy, a melody, a memory that will be left behind just for me_

_\- Jamais Vu ~ BTS_

***

Raphael had no interest in the party that he had been dragged all the way to Venice to go to by the younger vampires in his clan. By he knew that Lily and Elliot would be disastrous if they went by themselves and he didn't want to risk getting into any situations with problematic Shadowhunters.

So there he was, in a black suit, biker boots and a grumpy cat mask that covered most of his face from the nose up, staring down at his phone and texting non-stop. While the other two he came with were happy to party and drink the night away, he was more content with sticking to the sidelines and talking to someone he actually liked. Which was the person of the other end of his text conversation.

_Parties were invented to annoy me. They feature my least favourite things: people, all intent on my least favourite activity: social interaction._

He had just sent another snarky text his friend's way when he felt a body come and stand next to him. His eyes darted up and he saw that it was a man, who's eyes had landed on his phone screen. It made Raphael curl in on himself, only slightly so it didn't draw that much attention to him, and then carried on typing again.

"I don't really like parties either." The man said with a sympathetic tone. Raphael was unsure whether to believe the way he said it or not; he had had one too many people try and flirt with him that night.

" _No hablo italiano_." He mumbled in lieu of a reply, not looking up from his screen.

"Er," said the man. "This conversation is happening in English."

" _No hablo ingles_." Raphael said back without hesitation.

_Dios mío my friend, this man just won't quit_

"Oh come on. Really?" The man huffed.

"It was worth a shot." Raphael shrugged. 

_Venice smells like a toilet. As a New Yorker, I do not say this lightly._

"I get shy when there are strangers too." The man said, as if he was desperately trying to cling onto some form of conversation.

"I'm not shy." Raphael snapped. "I just hate everyone around me and everything that it happening."

"Well, those feel like similar things sometimes." The man noted simply.

More out of frustration that anything else, Raphael finally lifted his head and pushed his mask over his curly hair. When he stared at the man's face he realised with a groan, 

"Oh it's you. The annoying twelve year old."

Alec Lightwood frowned down at him. Even though he was a Shadowhunter, Raphael had to admit to himself that he was slightly grateful to be in the presence of one of the only Lightwoods he could just about tolerate and find mild respect for.

"We just fought in a war together. I was there when Simon woke up in the graveyard. You have seen me multiple times since I was twelve." Alec pointed out, clearly irritated.

_As many times as he says that, I just cannot help but picture him as that twelve year old who wouldn't stop bothering me._

Raphael could practically hear his friend's snort; he would have enjoyed talking about a Shadowhunter this way and definitely would've been entertained by the interaction that was taking place. But every time he pressed the SEND button on his phone, he couldn't stop his still heart from dropping ever so slightly.

Just as Alec opened his mouth to say something that would no doubt be just as tiresome as the last, a faerie girl sidled up to the two of them and started spouting nonsense about nights of unbridled pleasure or however she put it. Alec looked thoroughly flustered and distressed. It took Raphael an embarrassing moment to remember that it was because he was gay and dating his dear frenemie Magnus. Then, to his horror, the faerie girl turned to him and actually pushed his phone down. 

"I'm not interested." Raphael said, not missing a beat and pulling his phone closer to his chest.

"You're sexuality is 'not interested'?" Alec questioned. 

Raphael just nodded curtly in reply to his question. The faerie girl suddenly started yelling about the Dark War, and how Raphael was some kind of war hero. He suddenly became interested when Alec started to to get bothered by the faerie saying it was a strong Downworlder victory. 

"It was a victory for the alliance between Shadowhunters and Downworlders." Alec said pointedly.

"Oh, the Shadowhunters helped a bit?" Raphael turned to look up at him with a mischievous smirk. He was very pleased with the disgruntled reaction he got from the Lightwood boy. 

A leaf was suddenly pushed into his face and before he knew it the faerie was giving him a quill and asking for an autograph. He smiled in fake sweetness and simply wrote, 

**LEAVE ME ALONE**

"I'll treasure it forever!" She exclaimed and bounced away, holding it to her chest. 

"Please don't!" Raphael shouted, waving. He noticed that Alec was watching him curiously, so he quickly changed his expression to his signature glare. The young man held up his hands in surrender and look around the dance floor instead.

_You'll never believe what happened my friend, some faerie asked me for her autograph. More unnecessary interaction. Wonderful._

Raphael managed to smile a little bit, imagining his friends laugh at just the idea of someone asking him for an autograph. He'd beg to see it immediately, and throw his head back with laughter. Raphael would smile the way he only does when he's with him. They'd enjoy each other's company, in a way that's special to just the two of them. No one would understand, how could friends enjoy being with each other if they were just bitching about people or sitting in silence.

But for the two of them, it just... fit.

Then the wind was knocked out of his chest and Lily Chen barrelled into him from out of nowhere and started spouting of some ridiculous stuff about Elliot throwing up in an aquarium after trying to drink the blood of a whole number of different creatures; mermaids, selkies, the whole show. She only stopped when he coughed loudly and pointed at Alec standing next to him. Lily immediately stopped shouting about all the illegal things they had done that night.

"He tried to keep the accords and obey all the known laws." She said unnecessarily loud, even over the booming music. Alec gave a weak smile, obviously not convinced, but decent enough to let it slide and not tell the Clave.

Raphael only regained his moments of peace when Alec suddenly disappeared, Lily leaving soon after, finally leaving him in the alone time that he so craved.

_The vampires of my clan are unbelievably stupid sometimes._

_I wish you were here old friend. You make everything considerably more bearable_

Raphael could imagine him being scolded that very second, just for having enough cheek to call his friend old. He would've gotten a firm smack to the back of his head, but the blow would be softened by the fond smile that always followed after it, one that Raphael found impossible not to reciprocate with his own.

When he next looked up from his screen, it was as if time had flown by in a second and he could see his friends all on the dance. If one were to see him watching them all have fun, they'd maybe assume that he felt left out, or sad. It was the complete opposite. He was perfectly content to not be in the midst of all the loud noise and flashing lights.

Yet, as he witnessed the closeness of Magnus and Alec dancing together, he couldn't help but let his poor teenage heart wander and feel wistful just a little bit. Just to be close to the person he loved one more time would be ideal. He wasn't asking for anything more than that. Just closeness.

He was immediately put off of Magnus and Alec's relationship however, when he saw that they had stopped their little dance and had changed it to more of a live sex show; they were moving against each other sinuously, making out wildly, not one able to keep their hands off the other. Magnus' hand was on Alec's chest, just over his beating heart and Raphael almost gagged when Alec's hand snaked up and intertwined their fingers, his lips never leaving Magnus' for even a second.

 _Our_ darling _Magnus is back to being inappropriate in public again. Just when I thought that I could get on board with watching their little romance blossom, they had to revert back to being unfortunately cute. Shameful, wouldn't you agree?_

For a moment, Raphael thought that maybe he'd get an answer to his question, no matter whether it had seemed rhetorical or not. But then he mentally slapped himself.

" _Idiota. Cuando vas a meterlo en tu cabeza que-_ "

There was a sudden crash and he jumped out of his skin when he heard,

"Anyone who wants Shadowhunter protection get behind me NOW!"

It was Alec, with his glowing seraph blade out, pushing Downworlders behind him, actually trying to keep them safe. Doing what Shadowhunters were supposed to do in the first place.

"Well isn't that something." Raphael muttered to himself before flitting down the staircase to join Alec, Magnus, Lily and Elliot.

The whole thing was just a ridiculous misunderstand between two stupid warlocks that ended with the unfortunate collapse of the building and therefore the party.

Maybe it wasn't too unfortunate.

But once the dust had settled, they found that the warlock Magnus and Alec had been looking for, Mori Shu, had been killed. There were two twin pierce marks on the side of his neck and Raphael prayed for a short moment that it wasn't one of his idiotic vampires who had done that.

"Vampires don't drink from warlocks." Lily said when the three were questioned about it, and Raphael echoed as he could see the slight mistrust in Alec's eyes at what the girl had said; she was slightly intoxicated after all.

Alec nodded at the three of them, and Elliot let out an embarrassingly loud sigh of relief, which earned him a slap on the arm from both Raphael and Lily.

The three vampires were about to leave - after a torturous five minutes of Raphael desperately trying to convince them that they had to leave which did conclude with him having to punch Elliot in the jaw just to get him to comply - when he saw Alec starting towards Magnus. He ordered Lily and Elliot to stay put while he ran to get Alec before he could reach Magnus.

"Lightwood." He said sternly, holding on to the man's shoulder and turning him round. "I need a word with you."

Alec allowed himself to be led off away from anyone else where they could talk in private. Raphael took a deep breath, looked at the phone in his pocket and shut his eyes.

"You can't tell Magnus." He managed to get out after a moment or so of awkward standing in silence with the Shadowhunter.

"Uh, tell him what?"

"Who I was texting. You can't tell him." Raphael was almost pleading now, and he knew it wasn't a good look on him, especially since he still looked like a fifteen year old.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Alec's eyes were darting around nervously and he looked as though he'd rather be anywhere else. Raphael could relate.

"Estúpido, I'm not an idiot and I know you aren't either." Raphael's voice had become shaky. "You figured out I was texting Ragnor. It couldn't have been too difficult."

Alec looked at the floor in shame. 

"You can't tell Magnus. I'm already getting enough home visits from Catarina, and I don't think I can deal with Magnus showing up on the doorsteps of the DuMort any more than I already want him to. Which isn't a lot." Raphael explained.

"Okay, I won't tell him." Alec looked down at Raphael with a nervous smile. "Do you want to, um, talk about it?"

"God no!" Raphael said maybe a bit too loudly.

"Oh thank the angel." Alec breathed out, a hand flying to his heart.

The two looked at each other in a way of showing mutual respect. Raphael maybe gave Alec a hint of a smile, but he'd never admit that to anyone else.

After a few hours of searching for a warlock to portal them back to New York, they finally got back to the Hotel DuMort. Elliot fled off quickly, Lily trailing behind dejectedly, knowing that she'd have to sit and help her friend while he threw up goodness knows how many different types of blood.

Raphael however sat on the front door steps for a bit, watching people walk past and thankful for the glamour over the hotel and himself. He pulled out his phone and stared at the screen. He had made a habit of always leaving it open on his and Ragnor's text thread. With shaking fingers, he started typing.

_My dear Ragnor. I know you're gone. I know you won't be replying to these texts any time soon. But I hope that wherever you are, you're aware of how much I care about you. Now you know how much I hate express any kind of feeling so do forgive me if I seem a bit out of character.  
I miss you deeply. I miss how we could be together and not even have to talk about anything to enjoy ourselves. I miss being close to you, I miss how you respected me and never did anything more than hold me when I needed you to and only when I asked. You were the only person who could sense how I felt in a way like that and I'm not sure that I could ever find someone like you again.  
Maybe one day, when my time comes, we will see each other again. I hope so.  
Despite all of this, I doubt this will be my last message to you. While I can gain acceptance from this, I will dig my heels in any way that I can, just as I always have and always will. And as much as I regret to admit it, I have found that I seem to rely on you a bit, which is concerning to say the least, but not completely unwelcome. So do bear with them. I would apologise but frankly, I don't really want to._

In a far away place, a completely different continent in fact, Ragnor Fell's phone sat on a wooden crate, constantly buzzing over and over again. The sound was comforting to the old warlock, even though it filled him with deep sadness to know that his closest companion still texted him, even though he was under the belief that he was dead. It was nice to imagine Raphael thinking of him.

Until one day, the buzzes stopped. And with the new silence, came Ragnor's breaking heart.

**Author's Note:**

> poor babies are sad and that makes me sad :(  
> Raphael’s death made me cry and I was so upset when I read this scene in the Red Scrolls of Magic because all I could think about was Ragnor getting those texts and not being able to reply and Raphael still thinking he was dead but then Raphael dies and Ragnor comes out of hiding and aaasdndokvjdisb-
> 
> thank you for reading this though, don’t mind my small crisis...  
> it’s been a while since I posted something to do with shadowhunters and it feels good to be back  
> hope you enjoyed ! :)


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